hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
