Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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