Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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