I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos