i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".