i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dating After Heartbreak
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out