There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no