She announced her abortion via fbk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Shame - the story of my life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
