Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
