And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Come see our sink grown plant.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
