i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
