I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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