he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
