when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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