Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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