you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
