I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
