sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart