I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
barbara walters just said penis...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.