i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?