drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
21 People Confess What Itâ€™s Really Like At An Orgy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't deserve a penis
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream