how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
