Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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