I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
