Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish I only lived at night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
