Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize