dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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