There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
