Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.