is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
