If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize