You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you traded sex for a burrito?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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