I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
