I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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