I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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