No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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