Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
