allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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