i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
