I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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