Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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