idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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