dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
nutella sex= disaster
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
