New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
