Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
