i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
