So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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