He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
