I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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