you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this will be a night to untag.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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