Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
