she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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