oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
