I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
