Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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