she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
