You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
