Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She bit a glass in half.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
