that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
