it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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