No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
