Swine flu. Run for my life!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town