ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight