It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.