his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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